Militant Prego Ladies
I ran into one of these this weekend. Lord help me. I couldn't get away.
Characteristics of the "Militant Prego Lady": One of my glowing comrades in baby-making who does EVERYTHING by the book. And when I say that, I mean the strictest book in the store. There is no room for any error, the diets are counted out to the calorie and each and every carb, fat gram and sugar molecule is accounted for. NO caffeine ever (even from chocolate), NO sugar, NO preservatives. You get the idea. The birth plans are written out to a fault. NO drugs, NO C-Section, there must be this kind of music playing; there must be this color of flowers and so on. This kind of mom aces her Lamaze classes as she hangs on every word of the crunchy granola instructor. She will cloth diaper. She will breast feed until her child is 5 years of age. She will make her own baby food. Period.
Well...
Apparently I am already a bad mother according to this gal I met on Monday. I have caused irreparable damage to my child with the consumption of a single hot dog. She nearly ripped the damn thing out of my mouth. She was horrified that I was planning on getting an epidural. Absolutely horrified. I think she would have had an absolute fit if I told her that I drink a cup of coffee about three mornings a week. And I eat deli turkey. I'm such a tyrant.
Here's my philosophy on the whole prego thing. Everything in moderation. I don't want to have a strict set of rules for myself because I know I would just be setting myself up to fail. If I denied myself of ice-cream when I wanted just a little bit, I know I would binge and eat the whole carton later that week. If I didn't have a few sips of coffee now and then I would go insane. Let's not even start on the chocolate. Same goes for wine and sushi - even though I have not consumed either of those yet, does not meant I won't if presented with the chance.
This philosophy goes for the birth too. Birth is something that you cannot plan. You can create basic guidelines, but not a tight structure. Just like the pregnancy itself, there are so many variables that are out of your control. To assume things will go one way is a sure-fire way to have them go the other. All you end up with is disappointment. That's the last thing I need when I first embark on my journey of motherhood.
I will not feel like less of a woman if I need to get an epidural.
I will not feel like less of a woman if I need to have a C-Section.
I will not feel like less of a woman if the breast-feeding thing is not successful.
I found out later that this particular Militant Prego Lady's crunchy granola Lamaze teacher even told her that she needed to back off the absolutes that she was demanding. She was setting herself up for a huge disappointment. Wow.
I must say that I do admire these ladies to a point. I admire their passion about their plans and lists. I admire them because they are able to stick to them. I admire that they are happy with their choices. I will feel for them when they don't get what they want and are crushed and I will be thrilled for them if everything does go as planned. However, I cannot be so stringent. It's just my personality.
So - I am not a Militant Prego Lady. And that's just fine by me.
BTW - I did find out that the Militant Prego Lady eats McDonalds Chicken McNuggets nearly every day. Hmmmm... I'll take a spicy tuna handroll over a box of those any day.
Characteristics of the "Militant Prego Lady": One of my glowing comrades in baby-making who does EVERYTHING by the book. And when I say that, I mean the strictest book in the store. There is no room for any error, the diets are counted out to the calorie and each and every carb, fat gram and sugar molecule is accounted for. NO caffeine ever (even from chocolate), NO sugar, NO preservatives. You get the idea. The birth plans are written out to a fault. NO drugs, NO C-Section, there must be this kind of music playing; there must be this color of flowers and so on. This kind of mom aces her Lamaze classes as she hangs on every word of the crunchy granola instructor. She will cloth diaper. She will breast feed until her child is 5 years of age. She will make her own baby food. Period.
Well...
Apparently I am already a bad mother according to this gal I met on Monday. I have caused irreparable damage to my child with the consumption of a single hot dog. She nearly ripped the damn thing out of my mouth. She was horrified that I was planning on getting an epidural. Absolutely horrified. I think she would have had an absolute fit if I told her that I drink a cup of coffee about three mornings a week. And I eat deli turkey. I'm such a tyrant.
Here's my philosophy on the whole prego thing. Everything in moderation. I don't want to have a strict set of rules for myself because I know I would just be setting myself up to fail. If I denied myself of ice-cream when I wanted just a little bit, I know I would binge and eat the whole carton later that week. If I didn't have a few sips of coffee now and then I would go insane. Let's not even start on the chocolate. Same goes for wine and sushi - even though I have not consumed either of those yet, does not meant I won't if presented with the chance.
This philosophy goes for the birth too. Birth is something that you cannot plan. You can create basic guidelines, but not a tight structure. Just like the pregnancy itself, there are so many variables that are out of your control. To assume things will go one way is a sure-fire way to have them go the other. All you end up with is disappointment. That's the last thing I need when I first embark on my journey of motherhood.
I will not feel like less of a woman if I need to get an epidural.
I will not feel like less of a woman if I need to have a C-Section.
I will not feel like less of a woman if the breast-feeding thing is not successful.
I found out later that this particular Militant Prego Lady's crunchy granola Lamaze teacher even told her that she needed to back off the absolutes that she was demanding. She was setting herself up for a huge disappointment. Wow.
I must say that I do admire these ladies to a point. I admire their passion about their plans and lists. I admire them because they are able to stick to them. I admire that they are happy with their choices. I will feel for them when they don't get what they want and are crushed and I will be thrilled for them if everything does go as planned. However, I cannot be so stringent. It's just my personality.
So - I am not a Militant Prego Lady. And that's just fine by me.
BTW - I did find out that the Militant Prego Lady eats McDonalds Chicken McNuggets nearly every day. Hmmmm... I'll take a spicy tuna handroll over a box of those any day.
posted by Mama Moon | 11:42 AM
5 Comments:
Well, i have to say that i was not a Lamaze mom. I ate oreos almost everyday...chocolate! Its the militants that set themselves up for failure. Anyone who is constantly pointing their finger at others faults has very little time to spend in reality as far as i have noticed. You seem to be handling everything just fine.
I hate pain. so i also did an epidural...it was the best thing i could have done for my child and myself. I didn't want to have that pain hanging over my relationship with my child.
great entries. ;-)
I'm with you. I didn't give up coffee, and for the first 6 weeks of my first pregnancy I was on vacation in the South of France and was consuming LOTS of wine. Of course, when I realized I was pregnant, I stopped drinking, but the point is, my daughter turned out perfectly healthy.
Everything in moderation, as you say. And epidurals are WONDERFUL.
But chicken McNuggets? Ewwwww.
My doctor let me drink a cup of coffee everyday. And she told me that wine was okay every now and then even though I didn't drink it back then. I was on a bowling league right up until I delivered and I had an epidural, too!
Any person who feels compelled to force their own views on other people just can't be all that secure, can they? She needs to lighten up!
Soon you'll have to watch out for the La Leche League nazi ladies, too. (Okay, I know that's an offensive statement, sorry, get over it. My mother was a chain smoker when she was pregnant with me. That's my excuse. Yeah, that's it.)
Every mother/child relationship is unique. From the get-go. I'm a pretty good observer, and not a mom, so take it for what it's worth. Even within a family, what works for one mother/child interaction won't work with the next kid. It's all a constant flow of energy, a give-and-take of intent and emotion and regard and sanctity. I can't believe that doesn't begin the moment of conception. Your body and your child's have an agreement of divine respect, unlike any other mother and child.
How lovely that you can enjoy what you're going through, and be flexible and open to what you may need. I think we learn from others as much by knowing what we do not wish to be, as seeing what we do want to be. Good luck!
LOL...every doctor focuses on something different - mine was like - okay have 1 drink a week but nothing about deli meats or hot dogs...my sister's OB says just the opposite!
Also, I'm with everyone else...when I had to go to the birthing classes, the teacher kept trying to emphasize that every labor was unique, but then tried to force me to watch someone else's. What was the point if mine wasn't going to be like that?? :-)
Moderation. That's what allowed me to have regular Mtn. Dew every day (of course I switched to caffeine free while I nursed :-) )
Oh... ps....yea epidurals!!!!!
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