6th Month - Observances
Just a few things I've noticed that people never tell you about in books.
- Once your belly gets bigger, you cannot see your hoo-ha to shave or whatnot. I am not comfortable wielding a razor down in the nether-regions without a clear view - the waxing appointment is set up for this Friday. Thank goodness. There will be no untamed jungle down there if there is ANY chance of it ending up on videotape somewhere. Hey - I gotta set some limits on this thing.
- You can actually get away with burping or farting in public. Tee hee.
- Some days my hands are too swollen to wear my wedding rings. I actually have had folks look at my belly, check my hands for rings, and then give me sad looks when they don't see one there. Nice.
- Coffee shops. Even if I order DECAF! coffee - I get stares and dirty looks from people. Not all the time, just every once and a while.
- I have been offered extra pickles by my local favorite sandwich shop on more than one occasion. How sweet of them!
- Cravings. At one point last week I was very very close to booking a plane ticket and getting a rental car just to go eat at Pat's in Philly. No lie. And then go get another cheesesteak at Geno's across the street.
- Preggo Brain. It is real. It lives. I'm stupid now. I know it takes a lot of energy to make another human, but I really think it beneficial not to be stupid along with the bloated and clumsy thing.
- Parking spots. Way too small. I have so many dirty car smears across my shirts at belly-button level from trying to maneuver between cars. And it's only going to get worse.
- I need to get one of those Tide Stain Removal things. I never had boobs before and I have always been thin. Wayward food crumbs and drips now land on my shirt with no hope of ever making it to the useless napkin I have on my disappearing lap.
- Speaking of boobs. Holy cow. Where did these come from? Something I never thought would come out of my mouth - ever: "Hold on a sec honey - my boobs are in the way."
- Every time the little man squirms around it makes me smile no matter how uncomfortable it is. I think there is an octopus in there. That didn't come from my side of the family. LOL.
- Once your belly gets bigger, you cannot see your hoo-ha to shave or whatnot. I am not comfortable wielding a razor down in the nether-regions without a clear view - the waxing appointment is set up for this Friday. Thank goodness. There will be no untamed jungle down there if there is ANY chance of it ending up on videotape somewhere. Hey - I gotta set some limits on this thing.
- You can actually get away with burping or farting in public. Tee hee.
- Some days my hands are too swollen to wear my wedding rings. I actually have had folks look at my belly, check my hands for rings, and then give me sad looks when they don't see one there. Nice.
- Coffee shops. Even if I order DECAF! coffee - I get stares and dirty looks from people. Not all the time, just every once and a while.
- I have been offered extra pickles by my local favorite sandwich shop on more than one occasion. How sweet of them!
- Cravings. At one point last week I was very very close to booking a plane ticket and getting a rental car just to go eat at Pat's in Philly. No lie. And then go get another cheesesteak at Geno's across the street.
- Preggo Brain. It is real. It lives. I'm stupid now. I know it takes a lot of energy to make another human, but I really think it beneficial not to be stupid along with the bloated and clumsy thing.
- Parking spots. Way too small. I have so many dirty car smears across my shirts at belly-button level from trying to maneuver between cars. And it's only going to get worse.
- I need to get one of those Tide Stain Removal things. I never had boobs before and I have always been thin. Wayward food crumbs and drips now land on my shirt with no hope of ever making it to the useless napkin I have on my disappearing lap.
- Speaking of boobs. Holy cow. Where did these come from? Something I never thought would come out of my mouth - ever: "Hold on a sec honey - my boobs are in the way."
- Every time the little man squirms around it makes me smile no matter how uncomfortable it is. I think there is an octopus in there. That didn't come from my side of the family. LOL.
posted by Mama Moon | 1:25 PM
4 Comments:
I love your journal, Krista. Keep up the great writing, friend.
Anica
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Thank for making me smile.
I don't know about you, but I LOVED being pregnant.
And your post made me smile, laugh and reminisce.
• preggo brain. yep. No one warned me about that one. and from my experience, it only comes back to about half mast...
• wait until your feet start to swell, in the 7th-or 8th month.
• burping and farting in public, and laughing out loud about it. that is a treat.
• amazing how much you crave meat isn't it?
• i will never forget the first time that elbow poked out of my belly. wow. it would be worth it to do it all again just to feel and see that.
you are on my route now. thanks krista!
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