Meltdown #1

1st real Preggo story.

Here goes...

Last Wednesday I had a lousy day. About every two weeks I get so darn tired I can't stand to be around myself. I can predict it with the greatest accuracy. I feel like a 5 year old who has not had their nap in about three days. Little things that I would usually pay no mind to look like elephants that have been all wrapped up for me with pretty red ribons.

The work day was exhausting. Nothing but mean folks all day. Rick was a rotten mood when I got home (for good reason, but that's a whole other story). I tried to spare the world from myself and sleep only to have a car alarm go off for about 10 minutes, a fire alarm go off and Rick's cell phone ringing non-stop. Angry Preggo lady = turn your damn ringer off you lazy ass.

The tears started. They would not stop. Rick does not understand this. He does not have to, but he needs to keep his yap shut. Anyway - he made some rediculous comment to me and I just exploded. I was so upset - over what I really can't remember. I calmed myself down by going for a walk at about 9:30. I was willing to let the whole thing go by the time I got back into the house.

I walked in the door. Rick: "Where were you?" Me: "Thinking." Rick: "About what?" Me: "Stuff." I walked into the bedroom and closed the door. About a half and hour later, Rick could not let me have the last word. I didn't even know I had had the last word. Good gravy it starts up all over again.

He thinks I'm mad at him and that just fries him. Im not mad at him. I'm frustrated with me. But if he would take the time to listen to what I had to say he would realize this. He was not in a listening mood that day. Well - he finally does listen, but the tears still do not stop. The are still there in about 10 minutes. 20 minutes. Yep - still there. It's unreal. 10 minutes after that? Still there.

And then I get hungry. It's 11:30 at night and I get hungry.

Now let me describe pregnant hunger to you: It's a "If you don't feed me now, I swear I'm going to eat your face off" kind of hunger. It's like that with thirst too. It is an all consuming feeling that you cannot brush aside. You cannot ignore it. And this happens every 2 to 3 hours. EVERY 2 to 3 hours.

Cereal. I want a bowl of cereal. I go to get my bowl of cereal. As I am making my cereal I'm in the kitchen in hysterics because I'm hungry ALL THE TIME! I HATE being hungry all the time. I'm frustrated, I'm tired, I'm hormonal. I'm crying again. I think I actually stomped my feet.

Keep in mind that I have been crying nearly non-stop for the past two hours. This in and of itself is frustrating. More tears. I want to stop but can't.

Lesson learned: One cannot eat a bowl of cereal, or anything else for that matter, if their nose is so stopped up with snot from crying. This poses a choking hazard.

So here I am in all of my 6-month preggo glowing glory, sitting on the kitchen floor, crying, choking on snot over a bowl of cereal, tears streaming down my face and into the bowl. What I sight I am.

I can definately see the humor in this picture. I'm a grown woman of 32 years acting like a 5 year old with no naps. Complete temper tantrum. A moment of weakness in a life of consistency and stability. I am human, after all. Hopefully I can head this off at the pass when this next two week cycle rolls around. That should be about July 6th or so. We'll see.