Just Like a Baby... Only Smaller.

I would have to say that one of the hardest things I have ever had to do was leave my baby boy behind at the hospital. As a friend used to say... "It sucked beyond all suckdom."

He was so tiny. At 4 pounds, 6 ounces and 22 days early, he was still missing the skills to suck and eat. The poor little guy was so darn hungry that all he did was scream. It was one of those screams that will tear down any new mother in seconds.

He couldn't latch on to my breast - not that I was making any milk anyway - and he was horrible with a bottle.

A full-term baby with all of thier gear in place will drink about 60 to 90 ml in about 15 minutes. Payton was drinking between 10 to 20 ml and that would take an hour.

I knew that something would have to be done. There was no way Rick and I would be able to deal with this at home. Finally the pediatrician said that he would need to stay in the nursery overnight to get some food down him.

The news was very hard to take. Here you are - all ready to start your new life - and then the rug is pulled out from under you. You know it's for the best, but it still isn't easy.

So off we went to the I.O.U. The nurses down there were great. They showed us how to force feed him with a bottle - make him do the sucking motion with his mouth by manipulating his jaw with your fingers after waking him up completely by stripping the poor little guy down to his diaper. Yuck.

One night turned into two. Finally he was maintianing his weight, but it was a struggle. We were able to take him home on Sunday morning.

There were, however a few upsides to this nightmare. The first, being the obvious of him needing the extra care and learning how to eat. The second, not so obvoius upside was that Rick and I were able to make the home transition a bit more smoothly. We were able to make his space comfortable and prepare for him because we didn't have time to do that before he came. We had two nights at home alone so we could recuperate and get ready for him to come home.

I must say that it was so hard to get your hopes up. Every time we would go visit him in the nursery (45 minutes away) we would think that he was coming home. Three times we went and came home with no baby. Three times we had the car seat all ready and his bag packed with no luck. When we finally could bring Payton home, we had left all the gear in the car!

So yes - the boy was tiny. Even the little hats that they have at the hospital were too big for him. The nurses had to tie a knot in the side just so it would stay on his head. He was in premie diapers for a month and we had to buy premie clothes because he was swimming in the newborn sizes. The beat part is that we get to have him little little for a longer time than most. We're getting more milage out of his clothing now. BUT - I am rather bummed that his awesome Halloween costume is way too big. Oh well. He'll have a better one next year.

22 Days Early

There were a few things that I knew the second I got pregnant.

1. That I was pregnant with a boy.
2. That he would have blonde curly hair.
3. That he would come early.

Bingo on all three.

September 21st started out like every other day before it. I was excited because it was going to be my last day at work before I started my maternity leave. I was looking forward to having about two weeks or so to myself before I "changed jobs". I was planning on sitting by the pool, finishing the nursery which was still in boxes from the move and painting a bit. I needed to buy some last minute items for the baby as well. Our bedroom was still in boxes - most of my clothes and bathroom stuff.

I had an appointment with my OBGYN at 10:30 that morning, so I slept in a little bit, ate a good breakfast and left the house at 9:45. The doctor checked me and I was (in doctor's terms) 90% effaced and 2 centimeters dialated. He said I could go any time. At that point in time I was having contractions every 30 to 45 minutes - not a big deal. I could walk around like that for two weeks. So I went into work to finish up some last minute paper work and pack up the last of my personal stuff from my desk.

When I got to work, I knew I needed to go home. I was there for about an hour. I left at 12:15 to drive home. On the drive home, I was getting contractions every 10 minutes and they were getting stronger.

I got home about 1:00 and ate a turkey sandwich, a brownie, a big glass of water and went to go lay down. I figured I was just over-tired and when I rested the contractions would go away.

Boy was I wrong.

At 1:30, I felt a pop on the upper left side of my belly. Holy shit, my water just broke. I ran to the bathroom and there was blood. Lots of blood.

Rick was at work. His cell phone broke and I didn't have his direct line at work. I called his parent company and they gave me the number for the LT at TRADET on the Amphib Base. Thank goodness he answered. He tracked Rick down and within three minutes he called me and was on his way home. The drive from Coronado to San Marcos is usually about 45 minutes to an hour. He was home at 2:08.

While I was waiting for him, I was busy packing a bag for me, a bag for the boy and a bag for Rick. I had NOTHING ready. Rick come barreling up the stairs in a panic. He was too cute. I was relatively calm despite the fact that I was going to have to give birth sooner or later.

We got out the door by 2:30 and we were on our way to the hospital. Rick was timing my contractions on the way down. They were 2 minutes apart, lasting about 90 seconds. Can I just say OUCH???

We pulled up to the hospital, and made our way slowly up to Triage around 3:00. All I can say is that I was so glad that I wasn't one of those poor women that gets sent home or to the movies for a few hours because they came in too soon! They made me pee in a cup (I laughed at them) and then they hooked me up and checked me again. I was 4 to 5 centimeters dialated.

Hanging out in Triage was not a fun thing to do. I felt like puking and I was in a lot of pain. Rick went to move the car and got our bags. I swear that was the longest 15 minutes of my life. All I was thinking was that if I puked at that point, I wouldn't have to clean it up, and it would taste relatively tollerable becasue of the browine I ate. Good gravy, the places your mind goes when you hurt.

We got a Labor and Delivery Room at 4:30 and we were situated by 5:00. The nurse, Amy, gave me an IV and two rounds of something giggly in my system. I got my epidural by 5:20. It was a dream. She told me that her shift was over at 7:00 and she would probably be there for the delivery of my baby the next morning.

I told Amy that I felt like I had to poop. She checked me again at 5:45 and I was 10 centimeters dialated and the baby's head was very low. Amy had me push once to see what was going on and told me to stop. Stop. Stop.

All hell broke loose.

They found a doctor - Dr. Diamond - and in an instant, the bed was broken down and the NICU team was there and the lights were on and there was a flury of activity. I guess the baby's heartbeat was dropping too low during the contractions so they put me on oxygen.

They had me hold back for quite a while. Finally I was able to push. 11 pushes and the boy was out.

Rick got the whole thing on video. He was crying. I was crying. The nurse was crying because Rick was crying. It was the most amazing moment ever.

Payton James Wallace was born on September 21st at 6:42 PM.
He was 4 pounds 6 ounces and 17-3/4" long.
Just a peanut of a baby.

He has blonde curly hair and I'm placing my bets on green eyes like mine.

The Move

Holy shit was the move to our new digs horrible.

Yes - it got done and I got in OK (more or less unscathed) but the process to get there was no less than chaotic.

I knew it the second the movers walked in the door. They were surly and nasty and it pissed me off. We had these same two guys move us last time and they were great. I couldn't believe that they were such dickheads this time.

I guess what happened was that the person who answers the phone and books the jobs seriously underestimated the time that it would take to move me. They showed up at 7:30 that morning and were supposed to start another job at 11:00 after they had finished my job. Yeah, right. They were beyond pissed, and the only person they could take it out on was me.

Oh - and I was never told that all they would take was cash. That was fun. And I couldn't get in touch with Rick. He wasn't answering his phone. I needed money so I wrote a check out of his account into mine and made a huge withdrawl. Thank goodness the bank opened at 9:00 on Saturday not 11:00. Good Lord.

They movers started to refuse to move any of Ricks gear bags that were in the garage. They "weren't in boxes". Goddammit, motherfuckers. I'm 9 months pregnant. Do you expect me to move them by myself?!?!?! Finally my Italian Long Island loudmouth friend showed up to help. They moved the bags. Thank you Christine. I will forever be grateful.

Finally I had had enough. On the way to the new place, I called the moving company and asked their scheduler to take them off the afternoon job (which was bigger than mine) because the guys were so bent out of shape. If they were pissed off now, I knew that they would be beyond pissed when they got to the new place with three flights of stairs. I told him my situation and that I really couldn't handle the attitudes around me. Please do something so they won't be so nasty. They got taken off the afternoon job. The attitudes got better.

Again, Christine came to the rescue. She unpacked my entire kitchen. Mom played traffic cop with the movers and Dick assembled my rocking chair and some other things.

About 4:00 I was done. I needed to lay down and rest. I needed to take a shower.

Ahhhh... a nice hot shower.

Nope.

The pilot light which I thought was lit for two weeks was not. And after three tries it still wouldn't light. Goddammit.

At this point it's 6:00 PM. I call SDG&E. They say they'll be out sometime before midnight. Goddammit. They show up about 45 minutes later (thank you!!!) and there was so much air in the line that it took over 30 seconds to bleed it out. They guy pulled out a huge crescent wrench and twisted a nut and out it came. Definantely something I couldn't have done on my own.

Hot water by 8:00. It was the best shower I ever took.